By Emily Heart

While it’s easy to tell if you like the look of your dating partner, how can you tell if they’re right for you in other ways, such as personality, values and goals?

In a recent interview, Michelle Obama urged women not to judge their dating partners purely by the way they look. ‘Cute is good’, she said. ‘But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, who are you as a person?’

Here are the top 6 things you need to look out for when dating a man, so you can tell if they might be right for you in the long term.

Is there chemistry between you?

Sometimes you can tell straight away if the two of you might work well as a couple, because for some people the chemistry just sizzles from the first moment. However, if this does not happen straight away, it doesn’t mean it never will. Getting to know someone better can lead to passion and, in some cases, it is these bonds which turn out to be the strongest. However, if you are physically or emotionally turned off by the person you are dating, it’s more likely that chemistry will never happen.

Can you see yourself feeling love and affection for this person?

As Mrs Obama says, ‘Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul’. No matter how good your dating partner is on paper, if you can’t feel genuine affection and love for the man himself, your relationship will never feel complete. Try and see beyond the job title to the person inside.

Can you communicate?

Dating a man who leaves you guessing may seem fun in the short term, for a long-term relationship it’s important to know you can communicate your thoughts and feelings in an open and honest way. A man who cannot communicate anything meaningful about himself could make for a very frustrating partner!

Do you share values?

This doesn’t have to mean that you both vote for the same political party, or even that you are of the same religion. In most cases, it is the thousands of day-to-day choices people must make which will have the most impact on whether a relationship survives or fails. If you and the person you are dating can agree on the basics, that’s a great start.

Do you have common goals?

While this point may not be for a first date, it is important to get an idea over time for whether or not you share long-term goals with your dating partner, such as if you would like to get married, have children or simply would like to enjoy a carefree life of fun and travel. Get too far down the line without figuring these things out and you could be in for a nasty surprise.

Do you feel happier with him around?

The last thing Michelle Obama pointed out is that, for a relationship to work, you have to feel genuinely happy and at peace when you are with the man you are dating, and that he treats you with courtesy and respect at all times. ‘When you’re dating a man,’ she said, ‘you should always feel good. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole.’

About the Author: match.com is the UK’s biggest

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